Tequila/Monk

A little flying and running into Marty (lucid dream)

November 25, 2018

In a dream last night I became a little lucid. I was outside somewhere – in the dream I felt like I knew where I was, but awake I can’t recall it – and I decided to walk towards a main road. I took a few steps toward the road, and I can recall that there was grass all around me and there were many trees along both sides of the road. I felt the urge to fly, so I turned to my right, leaned forward and jumped into the flying process.

Doctor: This is the last time you’ll be able to ...

November 17, 2018

Last year I wrote a short blog post about “I wish I knew that was the last time I would do XYZ.” This year I get my wish.

“This is killing me”

October 28, 2018

A long time ago I was madly in love with a girl that I worked with, and she was in love with me. Problem was, we were both with other people at that time, and we both had decisions to make about our relationships.

Breathing nearly stops during meditation

October 27, 2018

I noticed during my meditation this morning that my breathing had stopped. Not in a bad way, but a good way. I was meditating on something else, but this observation made me decide to quit focusing on that object and pay attention to my body. I eventually realized that I was breathing from time to time, but it was very shallow and very slow.

Goodbye Penelope Cruz, I miss you

October 24, 2018

I had to travel a lot recently, something like 6.5 weeks out of the last eight. One day about two weeks ago when I was away from home and meditating I had the thought, “You should take a picture of that picture of X that’s in the lobby of the apartment complex when you get back home.”

The picture that thought referred to was of a woman who works at the apartment complex I live in. She and I have had some good conversations over the last few years, and she’s been a great friend to me. But at least in part because I’ve learned that relationships between men and women can be complicated, we never exchanged phone numbers or email addresses. (Had we met ten years earlier I would have certainly asked her out.)

Getting back to the story, when the thought, “You should take a picture of that picture” came to me I thought, “Wow, that’s kind of pervy. Maybe I’ve been living alone too long.” But then as if in response to that thought, a second thought came to me, “Because you’ll never see her again.”

Opening the heart chakra, and trying to love human beings

May 28, 2018

When I was in New Mexico I met a woman who suggested that I needed to quit fighting a particular feeling I have been experiencing. She said that it was my heart chakra attempting to open, but each time it started to open, my Little Ego wouldn’t surrender, it held on to things as they are for dear life. She said that if I would just let go, I’d be on the path to loving all humans unconditionally.

You have to go beyond psychic powers

May 6, 2018

When you read advanced meditation books it’s interesting to find authors say that psychic phenomena is common in advanced states. But it’s even more interesting to see the authors follow that statement by saying that as fascinating as those things are, they’re not important; if you let go of your attachment to them, you’ll find something even more spectacular...

How big changes in reality affect you

May 5, 2018

When our lives are hit with big changes, it can take a while before we can wrap our head around how to deal with those changes.

Time for a Facebook break

February 4, 2018

Seems like it’s time for another break from Facebook. I intentionally tried to use it over the last two-plus months, but using it reminds me of two things. First, I have very little in common with most other humans.

Second, thinking about posting things on Facebook takes me away from the present moment. Instead of immersing myself in the moment I might think, “Oh, so and so on Facebook might enjoy a picture or little story about this.”

Surprised I didn’t die

January 27, 2018

Pretty much thought I died this past Wednesday night (January 24, 2018). For some reason my heart has been pounding hard lately, especially at night. Wednesday night it was pounding very hard, then I had extremely severe chest pain, and I just tried to hold on, paying attention to each moment.

The pain got severe, then it suddenly stopped, and I figured I was dead, and this was the last moments of consciousness, or maybe I was heading towards the Bardo, or something else. Then I realized that by focusing very intently I started an OBE.

Once again, light switches don’t work in the lucid dream state

December 29, 2017

For a little while last night I was walking around the apartment, doing things, and generally thinking I was awake. Then when I went into the bathroom and flipped on the light switch and the lights didn’t come on, I knew I was asleep. I don’t know why light switches don’t work in this state, but I hope to find out one day. (It used to freak me out, but these days I just think, “Oh, crap, I’m asleep.”)

Thank you for everything, Judi Rice

December 19, 2017

I started practicing yoga with Judi Rice when she taught introductory courses in the evenings at a local university. She taught one class a week for eight weeks, introducing a few new poses each week. This was back in the late 1990s, and I was in my late thirties.

Dead, again

September 28, 2017

In the strangest thing that’s happened to me recently, a man who is a local celebrity died four days ago. And then he died again today.

I wish I could tell you the details, but I don’t even know them. All I know for sure is that in my mind he clearly died three or four days ago. If anyone had asked me yesterday if he was alive, I would have 100% said, “No, he died a few days ago.” And then on the radio today they announced that he just passed away during the night.

I wish I knew this was the last time ...

September 13, 2017

Tequila writing here tonight, and filed under “Weird Thought of the Day” ... after you break up with someone, every once in a while you look back and think, “I wish I knew that was the last time we were going to have sex,” or more generally, “I wish I knew that was the last time we were going to do XYZ together.”

I don’t if I’d change anything, or could change anything, but it’s more like a feeling that you might remember that thing more if you knew going in, “This is the last time.”

Wiped out by abdominal surgery

September 10, 2017

I got my butt kicked this morning. I went to bed late, got up at 7:30am, decided I needed a little more sleep, then woke up in a hospital after a surgery.

Long story short, I had some sort of surgery on my abdomen, and the recovery from that surgery was miserable and exhausting. By the time I woke up in my own bed I could barely move from the exhaustion.

A brief visit with my wife’s grandmother

September 4, 2017

Due to the high doses of necessary medications I’ve been taking, I haven’t had many interesting lucid dreams or vision-like things recently, but last night I had a brief vision.

For some reason I was looking out the window of the first home I ever bought, and as I was doing so, my wife’s grandmother appeared and began walking across the front lawn towards the window. I was lucid at this point, and asked how she was doing — she passed away almost 20 years ago — and she said something like, “fine” (I don’t remember her exact words.)

Do you wake up tired?

August 18, 2017

Nurse: Do you wake up tired?

Me (muttering): You have no idea.

Doctor: What’s that?

Me: Yes, I wake up tired.

A conversation with my recently deceased aunt

August 15, 2017

Last night I was in the middle of a normal dream, when I suddenly gained awareness a little bit. A younger version of my mother was standing next to me while I was sitting at my usual work desk, and she said something I can’t remember now, but it struck me as sad. She also asked if I thought my sisters would like something, but I couldn’t figure out what she was referring to.

Just because other people don't experience the world the way you do ...

August 5, 2017

As a brief note to self, just because other people don’t experience the world the way you do, that doesn’t make them right and you wrong.

In my case I started having OBEs spontaneously, and then through meditation and yoga practice I’ve been able to build on whatever this is that I was born with. My only goal is to try to prove that these things are real, and through many experiences, such as premonitions and the card tests, I’ve certainly done that, if only to a small extent. Hopefully I’ll get even better at this as time goes on. If other people think I’m crazy, so be it.

Wondering if it’s best to say nothing

July 29, 2017

After seeing a motivational image a few days ago, I’ve been debating about whether I should write any more about the “special experiences” people can have when they go deep into meditation and yoga. Specifically, I’ve been thinking that maybe I should just do what others do and say, “Oh, yes, meditation and yoga can be very good for your health, give them a try.”

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