Tequila/Monk

Being sick in a dogsled race

June 5, 2007

From a dream recording, sounding very, very groggy:

Can't remember how I got in ... this race ... but it's like a dogsled race, I wasn't happy because I couldn't pee ... in a public place. And I couldn't figure out the food situation, when and where I was supposed to eat. There are like mixed, international people. Part of me wanted to quit, part wanted to leave.

I'm going to the next stop, the people, all the guys told me I'm crazy, so I'm thinking about quitting.

(long pause)

Grandma Julia was there, and she's worried about me ... maybe worried about me quitting, I can't remember.

I'm in a room near the top of something, and I knew that someone was going to be coming into this room. So I put my hand on my neck, and I make my neck really hot, and I pretend to be sick, and someone came in, and they say "Oh my god, he's got a fever, he's sick", and I think "Okay, I'm out of the race."

Then someone like a headless horseman comes in, and he says "Quitter. What are you going to do, quit again quitter?" Something else, that was motivational, in a negative way ... he just kept calling me quitter, and then he ran off, raced off.

So I go down there, and it takes a lot of physical effort, and I thought I really was sick, and exhausted, and I had to do some kind of crazy climbing to get down there, and at the very end, I think "Oh my god, I'm not going to make it", and I call out for help, and M is there. "I need your help, I gotta ...", and I'm trying to think of what to do ... "Please put your hands there, I need support for my foot." She finally put her hand ... I said "I'm sorry, I know it's going to be gross", and eventually I get to the ground, safely.

But what I was going through, what kind of physical device I'm going through to get down there, I can't even describe ... almost circular, like the you're on the Titanic, and furniture is hanging upside down, sideways.

Right before that, Grandma Julia maybe is talking to M about me, maybe to K, and how she's worried about me. Then the headless horseman shows up, and I can kinda hear both of them at the same time. So finally I was like fine, I'll just do this,

There are some other people there that are worried that the Americans aren't eating ... there's like food in places, but I just didn't know if I'm supposed to eat here or not, I can't remember why, but I didn't ask ... I saw the food, and I thought "Oh my god, I'm so hungry", but I don't eat any, I don't know if I'm supposed to ... for some reason I just don't ask.

And yes, unfortunately or fortunately, I've had this type of dream before.

(some time later)

I get the feeling ... something still kinda like mocking me, like I am going to leave ... a women is holding the door for me, and I’m not going to leave. I have the mental attitude that I’m going to do it, do it, and I am pissed about it.

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