Tequila/Monk

Meditating in the ER

June 19, 2010

Unfortunately I ended up in the ER today. I'll skip what I was doing there for now, because I'd just like to focus on two emotions I experienced there today.

First, I was in the bed next to a very old man who may be dead by now. When I left his BP was something like 65/30. Next to him was an old woman moaning in agony. I'm not the praying type, but I certainly do wish the best for both of these people, that they either get better, or pass on gently. These two people remind me that dying can be an extremely painful and unpleasant process, and being a coward when it comes to pain, I don't look forward to that experience at all.

I'm okay with the death part, just not the pain. As someone said about falling out of an airplane, the fall won't kill you, but hitting the ground sure is gonna hurt.

Second, there's always a lot of waiting time in the ER, so near the end of my stay, with nothing else to do, I decided to meditate for a while. I was able to get into a nice state, and the thing I realized when coming out of this state is that what I am going through physically doesn't matter much. I am the universe, the universe is me, that sort of thing.

I've written here before that I've had very strong experiences that make me believe that we truly are "spirits in a material" world, and that's the feeling I had again today after meditation today. I didn't have this experience during meditation because at that time I was just the universe, there was no "Al", there was no thinking, but after meditation, there was this peaceful feeling that everything is going to be okay.

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