Tequila/Monk

He's going to pop

February 18, 2011
I walked into a room where Zen Masters, Zen students, and my youngest sister were seated. I looked at a whiteboard to my right, and I knew the message on the board was wrong, so I erased it, wrote something correct, and sat down with the others. A Zen Master pointed to the whiteboard and asked a question. Looking at the board, it had changed back to its previous wording. "No, no, no", I said, "that's wrong", and I went back to the whiteboard to change it again. I changed it, turned around, and everyone was gone, even the room was gone. I was surrounded by white light. Thus began a long sequence of dreams that left me feeling ill when I woke up this morning. If you've ever had a long dream sequence that messes with "reality" so much that your brain can barely take it, you know what I mean. It's just like Neo in the movie The Matrix, when one of the other characters says, "He's going to pop." That's the way I felt waking up. After this scene in the dream sequence I kept wandering around, not knowing exactly what to do or where to go, generally just surrounded by white light. Every time I encountered something I felt might be real, I had some sort of feelings for it, and then whatever it was, it was pulled away from me like it didn't exist, more like it never existed at all. In the second to last sequence of the dream I finally encountered more than one person at a time, and it turns out I was in some sort of treatment center, and they wanted to run some sort of brain scan on me. A nice nurse who I vaguely remember helped me, and then vanished. A person I worked with a long time ago also was involved, and then vanished. Finally a young man wanted to inject me with something, and I revolted, and after a struggle the scenery again turned white and everyone was gone. In the final sequence I had the feeling that I was once again at a relative's funeral. I didn't know who the funeral was for, it could have been for me for all I know, but because there was a group of people there from my mom's side of the family that I haven't seen in years, I assumed it had something to do with her part of the family. One other person was in this group of people, my youngest sister, and after all I had just been through, I was glad to see her again.
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