Tequila/Monk

OBEs as work, love, death

June 13, 2011
Last night was one of those nights that make trying to have an OBE seem like work. To the greatest extent possible, I did everything last night just like I did the night before, but nothing happened, nothing was ever close to happening. So at roughly 5am I woke up, rolled over, said "f*ck", and went back to sleep. As a result, today would normally be a very trying, irritable day for me (because of the disappointment), but after rolling over, I was fortunate enough to have one of those long "love" dreams that helps you wake up happy. If a third-party was watching this love dream it would have been more of a comedy, because I met a girl, and we both really liked each other, but try as I might I just couldn't get more than a few minutes with her at a time. We were at some kind of large party, and every time we started to get a few moments together, I got pulled away due to my responsibilities, like it was my party or my house. So I had to keep saying things like, "Don't go away, I'll be right back," while I was dragged off to my next responsibility. That happened at least four times that I can recall, and after taking care of each problem I had to come back and find her all over again. We'd just get to talking, or maybe holding hands, and then I'd be pulled away again. The girl in the dream seemed to be a girl I barely knew in high school, and she was a junior or senior when I graduated. I have no idea where she came from, unless she (and the entire dream) was inspired by a combination of emails and thoughts from yesterday (email, Monroe, phone call). Unfortunately the dream morphed into another direction over time, and while I kept trying to find the girl, I had other friends in the dream, and right before I woke up I learned that a man in the dream had died, and I began to cry. I think he was a football player of some sort, definitely an athlete that my friends and I had rooted for. We were asking him why he didn't do something, or why he didn't play a certain way, until recently. I could see him just like I saw the others in the dream, and it seemed like we were all talking to him, but when I asked why everyone was behaving unusually, I was told that he was dead. I suddenly knew this was true, and while I tried to tell myself that death wasn't really the end of "life", I felt terribly sad and began crying. As I cried, I wanted to find the girl again so we could hold each other, but then I knew that I was waking up, and there was nothing I could do to stay in the dream and find her again.
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