Tequila/Monk

Hold on ... or let go

October 12, 2012

I was also recently reminded of a business meeting I had many years ago, some time before May, 2007. I was in a room with five or six other people, and a woman in the room was speaking, when suddenly my perspective took a drastic turn.

In the next instant I could tell that there was a voice in the room, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I mean I knew whose voice it was, but it wasn't exactly coming from her, it was just in the room. It was as though we were on a telephone conference call, and the phone system was this magical surround sound system, and this woman's voice was everywhere.

As for myself, I'm not sure exactly where I was at that time. I know my physical body was in a chair in the room, but I'm not sure about anything else. After a few moments of enjoying this I finally thought, "Hey, get your shit together here, she's going to quit talking, and you may have to respond to whatever she just said."

As I thought that, I realized that I hadn't been paying attention to a word she said. I knew who was speaking, but I couldn't connect the voice to her, and I was also enjoying the experience, but I wasn't paying attention to the words. Somehow -- I don't recall how, other than concentrating very hard -- I brought myself back to the meeting, looked quickly at everyone else to see if they were looking at me, and when it looked like nobody noticed anything unusual, life went on.

Hopefully one day experiences like this will happen in situations where I don't have to "hold on", where I can just let go. Along with that, hopefully I won't be afraid to let go when they happen. As I think about this, I hope that I can recall the phrase, "What are you holding on to?" when the time comes.

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