Tequila/Monk

Short talk with maternal grandfather

November 6, 2012

Before falling asleep last night I had a vision of a brief discussion I had with my maternal grandfather back in the 1970s. Frankly, I don't remember talking to him very much at all while growing up, but on this day I had just seen his brother stumble around a little bit. I was very young then and didn't know that his brother was an alcoholic, so the stumbling concerned me. (His brother was always extremely nice to me, while my grandfather didn't seem to want to have much to do with us kids.)

So I went to my grandfather to ask him about seeing his brother stumble around, to ask if everything was okay, but the way I asked the question was more open-ended than I intended. I don't remember the exact words now, but I said something like, "Can I ask you a personal question?", intending to ask about his brother.

To the best of my knowledge, my grandfather didn't know that I had seen his brother stumbling, and I don't know what he thought I meant, but his reply was just, "No, I don't think that's a good idea," and he turned and walked away.

I was stunned by his reaction, especially that he walked away. I just stood there for a while. I don't know the exact year this occurred, but I know I would have been less than twelve years old, trying to make sense of it.

It didn't make much sense then, but if you knew him and that side of the family, it makes a little more sense now. I won't share all those details here, but the thing I do want to share is that this was a "vision," not a dream. I wasn't asleep, I was just laying in bed trying to relax, and this scene played back. I know the part about my grandfather's brother was real, I remember it well, but until last night I never remembered this very brief discussion with my grandfather.

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