Worked for an hour while I was asleep
I worked on a project for almost an hour last night before I realized I was asleep. I was busily working away on my project, and looked up periodically to see my father in the living room watching television. At some point I needed something I keep in the closet, so I walked through the apartment over to the closet, turned on the light switch, then ... nothing. The light didn’t come on.
“Darn,” I thought. So I went to the nearby bathroom to turn on the light, flipped the lightswitch, and ... nothing. At this point I realized I was probably asleep, but everything was so real, I couldn’t fathom that thought. Then I noticed something was written on the large bathroom mirror, so I moved around in the bathroom, trying to read it from different angles, but I couldn’t make out what the writing was.
I went to ask my dad if he knew about the writing, but he was gone. Standing in the hallway outside the bathroom, I finally decided I better see if I was asleep. I looked at my right hand, and saw a blurry image of six to seven fingers, knew for sure I was asleep, thought “damn,” and woke up.
I was very involved in my work for an extended period. I don’t know if it was a complete hour, but it was a very long time, at least a half an hour.
The apartment we were in was a combination of my current apartment, and some other place. I was working at a “pub table” I do own, and my father was in the small living room, to my right, but still visible. This area was slightly wrong compared to my current apartment, but the closet, bathroom, and hallway were perfectly correct.
My father passed away almost twenty years ago, so for him to be in the dream and for me not to acknowledge that it was a dream, I can tell you that I was very lucid, but not lucid enough to realize he shouldn’t have been there.
I normally associate not being able to turn on lights in a dream with a nightmare, but this was not a nightmare. It was disconcerting, but when the second set of lights didn’t go on, despite the incredible reality of the scenery, I was stunned to think I could possibly be asleep. I was further stunned when I woke up in bed. I thought, “Wow, if that was a dream, what the heck is this?” I looked at my hands, saw five fingers on each, and figured I was awake as I was going to be.
(I just did a little search here, and found other dreams where I can’t turn on the lights. Although I used to associate this with nightmares, it doesn’t seem to be the case any more, or at least I don’t immediately panic like I used to.)
I never did figure out what the writing on the bathroom mirror was. Something was written in large letters in colorful chalk or ink, but it was too dark to make out what was there.
I went to sleep at 10:15pm, and woke up from this dream at 12:40am. I was tired when I first went to bed, but was falling asleep slowly, so I began repeating the mantras/phrases I’ve been using of late, something like this:
“I love everyone in the world as I love myself. Under different conditions, anyone in the world could be my mother, father, sister, brother, son, or daughter, and I love you.”
“I forgive everyone for everything. No child is born mean, meanness only happens through the conditioning of the world. If I was born somewhere else and raised by other people, I would also be different. In the grand scheme, we are spirits having a physical experience here. I don’t know why that’s happening, but what happens here isn’t that important, and I forgive you, just as I forgive myself.”
Those aren’t the exact words, but they’re close enough to what I was thinking and feeling. I started using phrases like this as long ago as last July, when I had this, "A lotus for you, a Buddha to be" experience, which was amplified by my Alanis Morissette ‘Thank You’ experience.
Another phrase I stated repeatedly before this was “Gone, gone, totally gone, totally completely gone, enlightened, so be it,” which is an interpretation of the phrase, “Gate, gate, paragate, parasamgate, bodhi svaha.”
I believe these phrases put my mind in a good state before going to bed, and they can also be good during the day as well.