Tequila/Monk

A bargain with Death

September 1, 2013

About thirteen years ago I got very sick very fast. We didn’t know what was wrong, but doctors were testing me for Lou Gehrig’s Disease, MS, and other neurological disorders. I was quickly losing feeling in my hands and feet, and I was often dizzy and had problems with my balance.

Was I dying? I had no idea, but I thought I might be. It certainly looked like I was heading for a wheelchair, fast.

One day I made a bargain with God (or perhaps with Death, I don’t know). I said, “It’s fine, take me, but please, if I can, I’d really like to fall in love one more time before I go.” (My wife and I weren’t getting along too well at that time, but if we could fall back in love, that would be fine as well.)

A bakery

The next morning I got into my car, drove to work as usual, but at the last moment I said, “Screw it”, and pulled off the road and stopped at a bakery. The concept of getting to work on time had lost its importance to me, and I just wanted to get a bagel or a donut and a cup of coffee, and sit somewhere for a little while.

I placed my order with one woman, and she asked someone else to fulfill it. I thought it might take a few moments, so I turned and looked out the window. Then a woman called to me, so I turned back to get my order.

To my surprise, a beautiful young woman was standing there with my order, and ... she had an aura around her. I was stunned, but after a few moments I tried to act normal. I reached forward to get the muffin I ordered, but she/we dropped it on the floor as she tried to hand it to me. Honestly, I have no idea whether I didn’t reach far enough, or what happened, but we cleaned it up together, and she got me another muffin.

Besides the whole aura thing, this girl was young, beautiful, and very nice, and we became instant friends. We didn’t have a romance in a sexual way, but I stopped in when I could to get a bagel or muffin, and on a few mornings when she was there by herself and business was slow she asked me to stay. She’d come out from behind the counter and we sat at a table and talked. I learned that she was 19 years old, energetic, loved dancing, and had dreams about what she wanted to do.

I didn’t tell her that I was sick and apparently headed for a wheelchair, I just enjoyed her company. I had a convertible at the time, and she always asked if she could go for a ride or at borrow it for a while. She said she had a boyfriend, but we flirted a lot anyway. I didn’t know exactly what her feelings were, but I felt like I loved her.

And then one morning ...

One morning I walked in and she and I were the only ones there. I looked at her and said “Good morning,” but I quickly knew that something was different. She had a different look in her eyes, an aggressive look. She came out from behind the counter and walked towards me. She said, “I know you’re married, but you better brace yourself, because I’m about to kiss you.” She was beautiful and had been a great friend, and I had recently been debating about whether I thought I was in love with her. “Yes,” I thought, “I want this.” Every cell in my body wanted to make love to her, either in the back room at the bakery, or to take her away in my convertible, but some annoying little voice in the back of my head kept saying, “You’re married, and regardless of whether you’re happy with that or not, don’t do this.”

As she came towards me her eyes suddenly darted to look outside, and then she had a frightened look on her face. I assumed her boyfriend was outside, but when I turned around I saw that the owner of the business had just pulled his van up to the front door. She said, “I’m sorry,” and quickly turned and went back behind the counter.

Getting back to my recent thoughts ... I’ve been seriously sick a couple more times since that event, including some problems last week where my heart started acting up again. But even when I was at my most sick, I’ve never asked Death for another favor. I just remember a pretty young girl who worked at a bakery store, the first and only person around whom I’ve ever seen an aura.

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