A woman’s photo came up this morning as a Facebook friend suggestion, and while I like her, whenever I see her, she reminds me of the issue of “trust.” When I met her a year or two ago she was very nice, all smiles, and very curious about me and my life. After a little while she wanted my phone number and email address. Very flattering, all of it.
Later on I found out that she needed a visa to stay in the United States. Shortly after that I caught her in a little white lie that made me question everything.
In another situation, I was 18 when I met a girl of the same age, and I liked her very much. I don’t really question her motives like I did the first girl, but she asked me to do a couple of things at the time that made me think she might be looking for any guy who could help her in these situations. That being said, we spent many days together, and she was one of my first true teenage loves, and I would enjoy seeing her today. (I trust her infinitely more than the first girl I mentioned. We were both very young then, she really had been through a lot, and I had little to offer her besides my friendship.)
One more story: There’s a woman I know, and the only time I hear from her is when her husband is out of town. In fact, that’s how I know he’s out of town. I like her quite a bit, but this behavior makes me feel bad for both of them and their relationship. What I mean by that is that if I was in a relationship with her, it would make me wonder what she would do when I was away from her.
Finally, there is also the issue of money. I rarely talk about money because it seems to be one of those instant “trust” triggers. When some people found out that you have a little money, they become hard to trust. (I don’t have a lot of money, but I’m getting to the ballpark of being close to retire.)
If there’s any moral to this blog post, it’s just that I was reminded of how much I distrust people this morning when I saw that woman’s photo.