Tequila/Monk

Went down fast, went out slow

August 16, 2016

Monday afternoon, 3pm. My brain has stopped working. In a bad way. It feels like the two hemispheres are wrestling with each other in some sort of death match, and me, the bystander, is going down fast. I can’t articulate a thought, and despite plenty of sleep, I’m extremely tired.

Out of energy, I lay down in bed, wondering where this is going. I’m fading fast.

After just a few moments, the vibrations start. This hasn’t happened in a long time, and it never starts this fast. But as usual, it feels a little like my body is being electrocuted, though that’s not really accurate. It’s more like I can feel every atom or molecule in the body vibrating simultaneously. The feeling is fascinating, amazing, but everything is happening so fast, I wonder if I’m coming back from this one.

Normally the astral body separates from the physical body within a few seconds after the vibrations start, but this time I’m not going anywhere. After a while I think, “Well, this is different. I guess I’ll just be hanging out here.” I lay there, enjoying the feeling of everything vibrating, trying to pay attention. After some period of time — I don’t know how long — the astral body separates from the physical body. It’s like all the attachments are severed, all the locks are released, and I slide out easily. I can no longer feel my body.

The feeling itself is like I’m initially laying down in a train that’s not moving, and then the train slowly begins moving in a direction from my feet to my head, or in this case, from my feet out the top of my head, out of the apartment, and down the road.

I’m pulled backwards in this direction for a long time, and I enjoy the flight. The sky is big and beautiful, people and cars are underneath me, and something or someone is pulling me along. (I learned years ago not to fight the feeling. Whatever is pulling you, it means you no harm.)

Eventually the ride comes to an end, and I’m placed in a particular location. There are no voices, but I have a “You need to look at this” feeling. So I try to study what I’m being shown, though I don’t know what to make of it. After a few moments of trying to understand what I’m looking at, the scene instantly changes.

Again I’m laying in bed, but when I open my eyes and look around, it’s someone else’s living area, someone else’s bed, and I’m in someone else’s body. I try to look around for any clue to when, where, or who I am, but I can’t move much. I either can’t control the body well, or, as has happened before, I’m in a very weak body.

A man comes in the front door. He’s dressed in brown ... he’s a UPS guy. What the heck ... what kind of UPS guy comes into someone’s house?

He comes to the bed, asks how I’m doing, if I need anything. He says he’s sorry, he can’t stay long, he just wanted to get something to drink and check in on me. He goes to the refrigerator, gets something out, and then goes out the door as fast as he came in.

Too bad he didn’t look back at the bed. As he was heading for the door, this body started having a seizure of some sort. I was stuck in it during this process, but I couldn’t call out to the UPS guy or even move.

It may not have been a big seizure to the outside world, but it was a big event for the body and me. The body dies after the seizure, and when it dies I separate from it, essentially popping out of the body and landing on the floor next to the bed.

And then nothing happens. I’m just there on the floor next to it. For a long time.

“Well, this is awkward,” I think. I feel sorry for the dead body, and I hope the UPS guy or someone else will come back soon for it. Was I a man or a woman? I don’t know, and now I can’t tell from my vantage point. Did the body have something to do with the previous scene? I don’t know, and there’s no one here to ask.

Eventually I think about my own situation. Apparently I’m not going anywhere. I’m just there on the floor, next to the bed and the body. Usually I get pulled somewhere, the scene instantly changes, or I wake up in my own bed, but this time ... nothing.

It’s a weird feeling. I have no way of getting back to my own body. I can’t feel my own body (or at least the body I call “my own”). I don’t panic, but I also don’t know what happens next. Did my body also die?

With nowhere to go, I decide to meditate. It’s amazingly quiet. I sink into the peace.

In time I hear some thunder, and then there are flash of images. I think they are supposed to be things I’ll see when I wake up, such as a text message on my phone, and a few more things.

When all of the images finish flashing, I realize that I’m connected to a body again. I open the body’s eyes and look around. I’m laying in the bed of my apartment. “That’s good, not my last trip,” I think.

Then I realize the body is shaking, so I roll over to the edge of the bed so I can lean over the trash can I keep by the bed, knowing what comes next. But this time, besides the shaking body, nothing else happens. I’m grateful for that.

Then there’s a flash of light. I look out the window. It’s a brown/orange color outside, and it’s lightning.

I look back at the floor, and see my phone. I tap it to see the time. Three hours have passed.

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