Tequila/Monk

A conversation with my recently deceased aunt

August 15, 2017

Last night I was in the middle of a normal dream, when I suddenly gained awareness a little bit. A younger version of my mother was standing next to me while I was sitting at my usual work desk, and she said something I can’t remember now, but it struck me as sad. She also asked if I thought my sisters would like something, but I couldn’t figure out what she was referring to.

Something happened and we were interrupted. My scene switched and I was standing somewhere, and looking down at my aunt and grandmother (my aunt’s mother), who were lying on the ground next to each other, grandmother on the left, aunt on the right. Here on Earth they’re both deceased, with my grandmother dying many years ago, and my aunt passing away a few months ago. My grandmother’s face and arms were multicolored, mostly green and gray. Her body was decomposing, I remember thinking. In her case, her body was there, but her spirit wasn’t. The body was just an empty shell. My aunt’s body was in much better shape, not looking sick at all, and she looked significantly younger, and she was conscious, awake. Nevertheless, she laid there next to her mother.

Just being thrown into the scene and looking down at them, it took me a few moments to find my bearings. Eventually I said hello, and asked how she was doing. “Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine,” she said, not getting up.

Many thoughts ran through my mind of what I should say or ask; you don’t get many opportunities like this. After a few moments the only thing I could think to ask was, “Any words of wisdom?”

I don’t remember her exact words, but the essence was, “You know on Earth how people are often fighting or in conflict, that there’s stress with other people, even in daily life? Here, there’s no ego, so that stress isn’t here, it’s peaceful. It takes some getting used to.” Most of that is paraphrased, but I remember the words, “here there’s no ego.”

We were interrupted, this time by some discomfort in my physical body, and I had only a moment to say, “Sorry, I have to go.” On the way out I heard her husband’s booming voice yell something I can’t remember now.

When I woke up in bed (at 1:52am), I remembered that my mother and aunt both appeared younger to me, like they were closer to the prime of their lives. This is a common phenomenon; whenever something happens like this and I talk with someone who has passed away at an old age, they always appear younger than their age when they died. If any of this is real, it makes me wonder, do people appear younger because that’s how they remember themselves, or do they appear younger because that’s how I remember them?

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