Form does not differ from emptiness

February 20, 2009

When I really meditate a lot, and pay attention a lot to the present moment, some funny things start to happen, and today was one of those days.

When people talk, I can hear the sound vibrations from their voices rippling across my the skin of my scalp and on my hands and arms. Also, when they talk, I often only hear sounds like they have in the Peanuts cartoons when the parents talk, something like “Wonk wonk wonk”, and I don’t hear or know the meanings of the words, I just hear the sounds, or syllables.

When I look out through my eyes I also see things differently. Instead of seeing a person standing in front of me talking, I see the person and the space around that person, and in between people, as all being the same thing, this continuing ocean of “stuff” that surrounds me. That makes things even harder, because then I don’t necessarily associate that “wonk wonk” voice with the individual that’s speaking, it’s just these sound waves that are hitting this physical body.

I don’t know if its right or not, but I think this is like returning to the state of being like a newborn baby. All the years and years of training the brain to function in society are being stripped away, and I’m returning to that original state of birth, of a newborn baby. Whether this is “right” or not, for someone 45 years old, this is a very remarkable feeling.

This process reminds me of the Zen phrase, “Form does not differ from emptiness, emptiness does not differ from form”. I don’t think this is 100% right, but it’s what comes to mind.

I feel like I know where this is going, but again, that’s just thinking. I could describe it to you, but it wouldn’t be yours, so I’ll stay away from that for now.

Some day I hope to be able to describe this better, but that’s what I have tonight.

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