March 6, 2012

Today's lesson to myself -- at least related to dreams -- is that if you want to seriously explore what I'm trying to explore, you can't take days off.

I took today off after having worked for almost one month straight (if you count long travel days as work days). Between 1am and the time I woke up, I had a series of dreams that were so bizarre and nonsensical that I didn't bother to record them at all. They just kept coming, and I kept thinking, "WTF?", this doesn't make any sense.

The last of the dreams ended like this: I'm in a large room, something like a gymnasium, and young people are lined up against a wall. Along with other adults, I'm shining a "light" on people, but it's not a normal light. I'm shining this light on everyone along the wall, one person at a time, and looking for some sort of reflection. I think of it as being some sort of energy I'm trying to find in the reflection.

As everyone is lined up against the wall, I'm going from one person to the next, moving from my left to my right. Then a young man comes up from behind me on my right, sees what's going on, and says something like, "I'm out of here", or "I won't do this, I'm leaving", and he turns and goes.

Unfortunately because I didn't make any notes, this is how the dream ended, and I don't remember how it started, nor do I remember the other bizarre dreams before this one.

In the physical world

In the real/physical world, today was a parent's worst nightmare. One of my nieces was at her school in Illinois, and a young man brought a gun into the school. He apparently told some kids that he was going to kill his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. School started at 8am, and he had been disarmed by 8:10am.

When I learned about this, it wasn't as traumatic as it could have been, because I was told all at once that a) a boy brought a gun into school, b) he was immediately arrested, and c) nobody was hurt. Still, the thoughts race through your mind about what might have happened.

Although the event with the boy occurred at the beginning of the day, the school was kept under lockdown for several hours as they investigated everything related to the incident. I don't know the details of what happened during that time, or where the kids went during the lockdown.

When I spoke to my sister she said that my niece was fine, and the worst thing for her was that she had to pee, and during that entire time they wouldn't let her. She also said my niece didn't know the boy.

The dreams

As I mentioned, I can't remember all the dreams from the morning, other than there was a long string of them that seemed so nonsensical that I just kept thinking the same thing over and over again when I woke up: WTF? At one point I even sat in the bathroom debating about just staying up for a while, and then I stared out a window at the large moon we had.

Was that last dream in any way related to this event? I definitely had the feeling we were scanning these young people and looking for something, and it was clear that when the young man saw what we were doing he refused to get in line and left. It was also clear that we were in a gymnasium of some sort. I don't know that it was a gymnasium, but if someone had asked about my feelings of the room, I would have said it felt very large and open, with a definite cinder block feel. I also believe there were pads on the walls, like you'd find in a school gym.

But other than that, there was nothing in this last dream that made me think of my niece. My own feeling was that, except for the one boy who left, I didn't know the names of these people, that they were strangers, and we were scanning them and looking for something. (When I woke up just after the dream I could remember the boy's name, but I can't now. I think it was a Hispanic name, something like Mario, but I really can't remember it, and that's just a guess.) So it seems like a stretch that this dream was related to what happened.

Another point comes to mind that I've written about repeatedly here: It doesn't matter how a dream ends up, it matters how the dream starts, and in this case, because I was lazy and the dreams didn't make sense, I can't remember how this last dream started, or the details of any of the previous dreams.

The last thing I'll say about this dream is that it kept coming back, no matter what I did. The bizarre dreams all started around 1am, but this particular dream kept repeating itself from around 6am to 8am. I kept waking up, but with the day off I didn't want to get out of bed, so I just kept rolling over, and then it would start again, always the same thing, shining the "light" on everyone and looking for something to appear in the reflection of the light.

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