World War IV
A long time ago I wrote that when I thought about getting back into Zen and meditation, the mere thought felt like World War III. It was incredibly hard to think about going down that path because of what I had seen so far. When you see a dog having a stroke/seizure months before it happens, a man having a seizure weeks before it happens, and relatives dying before they die, it’s hard.
I don’t know if I can explain how hard that is. They show it in the early episodes of tv shows like Medium and The Dead Zone, so maybe you can get a feel for it by watching those. (After the early episodes those shows generally get away from the original reality and become more entertainment, with a few exceptions here and there.)
All I can say is that you’re in a no-win situation. If you tell people what you’ve seen, but you have no concept of when the thing is going to happen, the information is useless. It’s like, “Um, your grandfather is going to die”, or, “Your dad is going to have a stroke/seizure when you and your sister are together with him”. The short story is that information like this is a relationship-killer: you’re damned if you tell anyone about it, and you’re damned if you don’t.
You rarely get good news. There is the occasional, “Oh, Cathy is getting married” and you know that, even though you haven’t communicated with Cathy in years. Or you know that Rita and Darren are going to have a baby before they know it, but knowledge like that is rare. You usually see the bad things.
At one point I felt very good about where I was, I was in the flow, and these events/visions didn’t bother me, and World War III quietly came and went. But at some point I started having a problem with everything again, and then I quit trying to have these events. I learned that there are things I can do to avoid them, with sex and alcohol being the main two inhibitors.
Getting by with a little help from my friends
I recently found some new friends, and I’m hoping that with their help, I can start my own personal World War IV, and get through this. Honestly, I don’t even know if there’s anything on the other side to get to. I’ve had over 100 or 200 OBEs and dozens of visions so far, so I don’t know where else this can go, but I do want to try to clean up my act again, try to become “impeccable” as don Juan put it, and see where it leads. I have learned that I might not be strong enough to do this by myself, but with the help of some friends, maybe I can push through this.
I was just out for an afternoon walk, and thinking about these things made me think of the movie The Matrix. I know there’s something obviously weird about space and time -- I usually see these visions days, weeks, or months ahead of time from hundreds or thousands of miles away -- so I want to investigate this, once again with myself and my sanity as the test subject. I think I’ll be fine if I die without knowing any more, but I’d like to know more.
So, trying to get by with a little help from my friends, here I go ...