Having it out with dear ol’ dad

April 10, 2016

My father died over twenty years ago, but he’s still in my dreams several times a year. I don’t know why he was there last night, but he was, and he was whining about how he took care of my mother, and a bunch of other bullshit nonsense.

Some time ago I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, but having learned more about him recently, I let it rip last night. I told him I was paying $500 a month just for mom’s third tier support, let alone all the other bills. I told him that what he really did was to leave a big pile of stinking horseshit that other people are now having to deal with.

Dad could talk a tough game, but the reality was that he blew some intimidating hot air and judged the hell out of other people, but he left a pile of crap behind him when he died. He got caught screwing another woman, she got pregnant, and being the devil she was, she milked it for all she could. Not only did dad not take care of his wife, he fooled around, had the bastard child, and oh by the way, he also didn’t take care of his mother, letting her live in some horrible medicaid housing facility (something I only learned about when she died). After all the discipline he inflicted on his children, his second wife castrated him pretty good.

I told him all of these things last night, and then told him to get the hell out of my dreams, forever. I can forgive him for what he did, and I’m trying to forgive a lot of people for a lot of crap right now, but there’s a big difference between forgiving someone and ever wanting to see them again. So dad, I forgive you, but I never want to see you again. Good riddance, hasta la vista, don’t let the door hit you. I hope you’re a nicer person in your next rebirth. Next time try, “Deeds, not words.”

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