You can never know what someone else is thinking

May 9, 2016

I don’t know exactly why, but I just found myself thinking that, short of being a mind reader, you can never know what someone else is thinking.

An example of this for me is that many years ago I went to a meeting where people were going to talk about the future of a particular company that is involved with things like out of body experiences. As I sat there waiting for the meeting to start, a very pretty woman who was probably in her 20s walked in. While she was beautiful, she was covered in tattoos, piercings, and wore leather biker gear.

Being a guy, when I first saw her I thought, “Wow, she’s hot.” She ended up sitting next to me, and during one of the breaks I introduced myself.

I don’t remember how we got on the topics of discussion we got on, but after a little while she asked if I thought she was crazy for the things we talked about. Admittedly we went very deep very fast, but that’s what this sort of meeting was about.

She ended up leaving the meeting a little while later. I assumed that she was going for a bathroom break, but then she never came back. I always wished that I had known she was leaving. I would have at least gone out to the hallway to talk to her some more, because she was clearly not in a happy place.

For me it was one of those eye-opening experiences where you go from, “Wow, she’s hot,” to being extremely concerned about her as a human being in a very short period of time. I’ll always wonder if the tattoos, piercings, and leather outfit were because of the fears and insecurities she expressed to me in our short time together.

(Many years before this, when I was about 22 years old, a tall, beautiful young woman I knew who had wild “party” hair and relatively wild makeup threatened to commit suicide in a parking lot after work one night. From the outside she seemed like she had a lot going for her; most women would love to look the way she looked, and she always seemed happy and “fun.” But inside her, a totally different storyline was playing. (In this event I was relatively proud of my own behavior, where I was one of only two people who went right up to her and said, “Hey, what are you doing? Stop this now. Let’s talk.”))

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