“It’s a good day, I can finally walk on my own again”

May 18, 2016

When my dad died, he and I were barely on speaking terms. That was a long time ago, but I still have a fair number of dreams with him in them, maybe once every week or two as far as I can remember. (These days I can’t remember most of my dreams.)

Our interactions are rarely pleasant, so last night I was in a room in a dream, and he comes to the door, and asks, “Do you have a minute?” I know that I turned to him and just glared at him. I don’t remember what I was doing up until that point, but he was interrupting me, and of course it was him, so no, I didn’t really want to “have a minute.”

Before I could say anything, he stepped back out of the doorway, and my mother was standing there. Even when she was healthy my mother was an extraordinarily quiet woman, and these days she barely speaks, but standing there she said, “It's a good day, I can finally walk on my own again.” I looked at her for a moment, and she appeared as a younger, healthier, happier version of herself.

Her sentence and her appearance shocked me so much that I immediately woke up, and almost jumped out of bed. I sat there for a long time. I poked on my phone, and it showed it was 3:46 am. With just a few exceptions, my mother is never in my dreams, and the thought ran through my mind, has she died? The times I’ve had dreams like this of sick relatives, they usually die within a week or two. It’s many hours later now, and I’m glad to say that she’s still alive.

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