So long old friends
I’ve read other people say that when you get sick you’ll find out who your real friends are, and I can now confirm that.
I know that part of the problem is me and how I’m behaving, but when you’re sick to the point where it’s hard for you to stay conscious, trying to understand and find out why you are sick is the only really important thing in your life. Other things like elections (I knew who I was going to vote for months ago) aren’t important. Anything to do with celebrities wasn’t important before, and it’s certainly not important now.
For me, the only important things right now are a) understanding my illness, and b) finding a doctor who can deal with this rare disease. I now know that it’s not curable, so the best/only thing I can do is find out how to live well with it, and understand what I can do to make the anaphylaxis and syncope more controllable. So if trying to figure out how to stay alive makes me boring, sorry, don’t let the door hit you.