Near death experience, June 8, 2017
As far as I know, I all but died this morning just after 3am. The story goes like this:
I went to bed around 11pm after quietly and mildly practicing yoga for about 45 minutes. I woke up at 1:20am to go to the bathroom. I fell back to sleep, then woke up some time before 3am.
I rolled over but didn’t fall back to sleep right away. Instead I started dreaming while I was still awake. I was in the back yard of the house I grew up in, and I was hugging a girl I don’t know, but I felt great love for. Even though we weren’t going to be apart any time soon, as I hugged her I told her, “I’m going to miss you so much.” It was then that “I knew” I would be going off to school soon, and we would be apart. All I really know about her is that she was wearing a blue, long-sleeve shirt.
The scene ended and I thought, “That was interesting.” I shifted in bed again. I hoped the scene would continue so I could understand it more, but it didn’t.
As I laid there, I began to hear the familiar sucking/whooshing sounds that indicate the start of an out of body experience (OBE). I’ve tried to describe this before, but it’s like my consciousness is here on Earth in the physical plane, but it’s also trying to break free, and the result in my brain and ears creates very unique sounds and experiences that have no parallel in the physical plane.
Unfortunately, as this happened, my heart freaked out. It started beating very erratically. At one point it felt like it was bouncing in my chest, then it seemed like it stopped altogether, then it started doing some sort of erratic tap-dance. I wanted to fight it, and I thought about calling 911, but I couldn’t even move to reach my phone.
I laid there in bed. “After everything I’ve been through,” I thought, “what a strange way to die.” Then I saw/heard people coming in my balcony door, and that terrified me, so I fought one last time to try to move. I was able to move slightly, and confirm that nobody was coming in, it was just one of those “You’re in two worlds at the same time” things. I could see the time now, and it was 3:20am. “So many events have happened at 3am over the years,” I thought, “how appropriate that I should die at this time.” I laid there unable to move, trying to hold on, and eventually passed out or fell asleep.
I woke up some time later with enormous pain in my chest and upper abdomen. Again I tried to move, but the pain was too much. Once again I went unconscious.
I woke up again at 6:20am, and except for some remaining pain in my chest, I was able to move, so I got out of bed, went to the bathroom, thought, “Well, that didn’t kill me,” then started my day.
Lately I’ve been reading the end of the book Be Here Now by Ram Dass, and over the last few days I’ve been practicing what I know about “purification.” I have also been intentionally much more mindful than I have been in recent months. As just one example, I got off of Facebook so I wouldn’t be distracted by the random “I should put this on Facebook” thoughts during the day. I’ve also been practicing the “What am I” and “Who is doing ...” mantras I learned from the Providence Zen Center.
As a result, the last two nights have been very busy. Last night I was happy when I started hearing the sucking/whooshing sounds, and I tried to pay attention to them so I could describe them better, but then everything started with my heart and I wasn’t able to do anything there. (Sometimes I can control the event a little bit, where I toggle back and forth between the two worlds/planes, and that makes the sounds repeat.)